Seven Effective Ways to Save Your Relationship

By Kris Joiner

 

Dave knows he spends too much time at work but doesn’t want to risk losing his job. Linda feels Dave isn’t there for her. Linda believes she is the only one looking after the children and Dave believes Linda doesn’t have time for him any more. Is it possible to save a relationship like this? Is it worth the effort?

 

Here’s how this relationship can be saved…

 

The first thing to establish is do both parties want to save the relationship? Although most relationships can be saved with a lot of effort, there needs to be a commitment from both people. If one of the parties has already written it off, then there isn’t much the other one can do on their own.!

 

Sometimes people will remain in a relationship or marriage just for convenience, or for the sake of their children. This will not fix anything. It can even make things worse. Save your relationship by first getting an agreement from both people that it is worth saving..

 

Secondly, try to identify the real problems in the relationship. Get past the symptoms. Probe deep to find the root cause of the real problem in order to have any chance of saving the relationship.

 

As an example, it is easy to believe that an affair is the problem that breaks up relationships. The reality is that the affair was only the symptom. The real problem can be much deeper. Lack of intimacy can be the real problem. This can be what led to the affair. If the real problem is not properly identified and dealt with, then a break up is more than likely. For example, using guilt trips and getting promises from the party that had the affair may prevent another one. But, without solving the lack of intimacy problem another unwanted symptom may appear such as pornography. This is why it is so important to identify the real problem and deal with it.

 

Finding and fixing the core problem will help you save your relationship.

 

Now you have found the core problem, it is time to talk openly with each other. This is the stage when you share with each other your feelings and thoughts. It must be done in a caring and supportive manner. Perhaps sit close and even hold your partner’s hand. This will tell them you care and want to save what you have and avoid a break up. It will help to build a connection between the two of you as well. You both will probably be experiencing a range of feelings. Some things your partner may say can cause you to feel hurt or angry but remember, they are only speaking their thoughts to share how they feel. They are not trying to hurt you on purpose. Remember they agreed to try to fix things and save the relationship too.

 

Now you have uncovered the core problems it is time for a plan of action. Come to an agreement on the actual steps you each will take to keep you on track. For example, if lack of communication was found to be the real problem then agree to spend 30 minutes just talking with each other at a set time in the evening. Make sure you stick to it. If the issue was no time together then set a date night every week. Maybe a Tuesday, Take turns deciding where you will go and add surprises. Just make sure you stick to the plan you both agreed to.

 

By now you have realized that keeping a relationship intact is ongoing. Sometimes it may seem to be too slow in coming right. There will be upsets along the way. There will be fun times as well. Be willing to say sorry and not too hasty to lay blame.

 

Only you will know if your relationship is worth saving. If it is, then these steps will be effective to save a relationship. There are other critical steps you need to take and things you must avoid saying to ensure your relationship has the best chance of being saved.